The Bathroom Poet

Part 1: A few years ago, I worked in building 42 and we had a little problem in the men’s room. Nearly every day, someone would attempt to flush paper towels down the urinal. It would clog up the urinal and water would flow all over the ground.

Part 2: Some of the funniest posts on this blog (at least in my mind) have been bad poetry. Examples: 1, 2, and 3.

Part 3: Some hilarious, handsome, anonymous person posted some poetry in the bathroom of building 42 and also posted the poems at

Part 4: I want to make sure these works of art outlive

So without further ado, here is the first of the two poems:

Paper Towel Flusher
Your dreams may be crushed
But I cannot remain hushed
No matter how hard you try
This just won’t fly
A paper towel cannot be flushed

Your logic I can’t diagnose
No attempt even comes close
It’s a nasty little habit
Someone has to reach in and grab it
It’s really quite gross

Why you do this I can’t guess
No one wants to clean up your mess
So please secure your paper
We’ve had enough of this caper
This can’t be allowed to progress

Maybe you’re just sadistic
But let’s be realistic
We’re not in third grade
My point has been made
Of an adult this is uncharacteristic

That first poem caused a ruckus and it actually solved the problem for a while, but eventually the paper towels returned. The janitor left a handwritten note next to the poem begging the flusher to stop. At that point, another set of verses appeared:

A handwritten for the paper towel flusher asking very nicely for him to stop. I decided it was time to cut loose with verses 5, 6 and 7…

A handwritten plea
Don’t you see?
Others feel the same
Have you no shame?
It’s not just me

Who knows, maybe you’re in a rush
And while it might make me blush
I offer my help
Just give a small yelp
If you need me to help you flush

Or what if you just like these rhymes?
I promise to still write sometimes
Even after you clean up your ways
I’ll still utter a clever phrase
It will be just like old times